 
 Natalie Books, Skies, Colours, STARS And Time will have his fancy To-morrow or to-day icon : violetbirdy |
Wednesday, May 16, 2012 @ 10:10 PM |
comment (0) "the cat he reflects, as he sits: who am i and what and why. and then the answer comes to him: a scavenger, and nothing more." Since I've last posted on this blog, so many things have happened. I've probably grown up. But not really. There's been a time for joy, and a time for grieving and still the winds blow, the sun shines, the rain falls. Anyway, I've decided to chronicle the happier memories first.
HAPPY THOUGHTS:
Flight.
Going to Cambridge for ELL was probably one of the best decisions ever. I was reluctant to go at first because I didn't want my family to spend so much on me and then there was my missing 2 weeks of training and only one week to train for the nationals after returning to Singapore; but I suppose my parents figured it would be a worthy investment and so I went. It hadn't really sunk in that I was going to Cambridge, England, Britain, the UK until I scanned my passport and it read "Bon Voyage _________". And then I realised that my country was wishing me a good trip away from home and it made me feel all sweet inside. Like I was carrying the hopes of all these other people who'd never had a chance to go to see the world, to go see England; let alone study in Cambridge.
I've always liked those passport gantry things. They get my full name right.
So I'd never travelled further than Malaysia. So it was pretty exciting to me to take the 7 hour flight to Dubai and then transit to another 7hour flight bound for London. My plan was the cram as many movies in the first 7 hours before I knocked out and oh yeah it was awesome (: I watched The Descendants, parts of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, and I can't remember what. Emirates has a pretty good selection of movies and I was hoping so much that they would show John Carter but it was still playing in the cinemas and I didn't get to watch it. Eventually the lights were dimmed and they shone tiny dots of soft white light on the ceiling of the plane so that it looked like we were sleeping with the stars above us. And again I had that sweet feeling 'cause we were in the sky, living out the dreams of millions of people before us, living out their dreams of flying; and still we look to the stars for comfort and to remind us of the time to sleep. Some things just don't change.
And then my eyes were burning with the effort to keep them open and my lips were so dry. I figured it was time to sleep.
Sleeping on the plane is horrible. Your neck develops a crick when you wake up, your bones creak and you feel terribly unwashed, as if the grime and oil of a lifetime's settled on your face even though you've only slept for 3 hours. But then the air stewardesses and stewards come bearing carts of cold juice/ hot tea and meals. Bliss. And then you settle down with your headphones on and eat with your eyes glued to the screen. Bliss.
Honestly, I liked how no one could accuse me of being anti-social by eating and watching tv at the same time since the whole plane was doing the same + I didn't have to wash any dishes (:
We landed in Dubai at 6am in the morning (?), Rina and Sat rushed off to take pictures with the gorgeous air stewardess who served us our meals. Emirates has got to have the nicest flight uniforms ever. The ladies all wear this red toque on their heads and a white scarf that's been draped from the toque so that it encircles the chin but barely. It's so middle-eastern but not really and then their hair's bunned up and they wear lipstick the same shade as their hats. It's so put-together, almost in a classic, Grace Kelly kinda way.
And the men wear suits :> People look so good in well-cut suits. :>
Anyway, Dubai was crazy hot at customs, then it got cooler, but also crazy crowded in the duty-free area. Travellers were everywhere; it almost felt like a market place cause people were constantly moving up and down, and surrounding both sides was the department store so you could walk down and see electronics, tv screens showing people teaching other people chinese/ mandarin, chocolates, perfume, dvds. It was pretty cool. And the toilets. The toilet queues were crazy too.
The flight halls were less crowded though. I guess it was cause the food there was much expensive i.e. attas restaurants and by then most of the crowd had already found seats in the waiting area. We grabbed seats by the waiting area too and talked over biscuits we'd koped from the plane and water, 'cause we were too lazy to change money to buy food. At least I was too lazy. But it was a peaceful time. Away from the mad bustle of duty-free, sitting with our backs to the pretty patterned, frosted glass that blocked our view of the planes, and the sun just coming up behind the glass so that we saw its the blue glass slowly turning green and then the soft yellow and orange glow at the bottom. It was pretty.
We boarded the plane after a while, and then our flight instincts kicked in and we took the headphones and watched movies again. After a time, we flew over Diyarbakir or at least some where near there and when you looked out the window, you could see mountain ranges, bright white fields and grey lines running through the white so you could roughly make out which points were the peaks etc. It was so surreal and lovely. It made me feel small cause I'd never imagined I'd get to see snow covered mountains one day and we were just flying over what seemed like endless rows of mountains. I tried to imagine what would happen someone was lost in the mountains and saw a plane overhead and waved to signal for help. There'd be passengers looking out of the window at the wide expanse of white, but they wouldn't see you cause they were so high up and all they could make out was that they were flying over mountains. In a way it made me sad, but then I realised that my imagination was pretty wild and morbid so I stopped trying to imagine. But at the same time it made me feel so small even though the world seemed to be spread out at my feet.
I don't know so many things.
Rina and Deb sat next to a girl from Surrey (England) who'd backpacked around Asia and was making her way home to her darling cat and her family. But mostly her cat. She had a chin stud and a tongue stud I think. Her life's amazing. I liked how she stayed in Surrey 'cause that's the setting of Lucy's home in A Room with a View, just sayin'.
And then we were flying over ENGLAND. Which wasn't as pretty as I imagined cause all the camera on the plane's belly showed were wisps of clouds, grey industrial buildings and spots of green. All the same though, it was exhilarating to be finally finally in England. :>
And I was so happy.
The trees
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 @ 4:27 PM |
comment (0) they cut through light with their spindly arms quivering fingers in the chill march air. black bodies, armoured trunk guardians of the earth; sentinels of sky Much ado about nothing
Sunday, February 12, 2012 @ 10:31 PM |
comment (0) I decided to take a personality test today and look what I got: "Your Working Style You have a great deal of warmth, but may not show it until you know a person well. You keep your warm side inside, like a fur-lined coat. When you are care, you care deeply, but are more likely to show your feeling by deeds rather than words. You are very faithful to duties and obligations related to things or people you care about. You take a very personal approach to life, judging everything by your inner ideals and personal values. You stick to your values with passionate conviction, but can be influenced by someone you care deeply about. Although your inner loyalties and ideals govern your lives, you find these hard to talk about. Your deepest feelings are seldom expressed; your inner tenderness is masked by quiet reserve. In everyday activities you are tolerant, open-mind, flexible, and adaptable. If one of your inner loyalties is threatened, though, you will not give and inch. You usually enjoy the present moment, and do not like to spoil it by rushing to get thing done. You have little wish to impress or dominate. The people you prize the most are those who take the time to understand your values and the goals you are working toward. You are interested mainly in the realities brought to you by your senses, both inner and outer. You are apt to enjoy fields where taste, discrimination, and a sense of beauty and proportion are important. You have a special love of nature and a sympathy with animals. You often excel in craftsmanship and the work of your hands is usually more eloquent than words. You are twice as good when working at a job that you believe in, since your feeling adds energy to your efforts. You see the needs of the moment and try to meet them. You want your work to contribute to something that matters to you-- human understanding, happiness, or health. You want to have a purpose beyond your paycheck, no matter how big the check. You are perfectionists whenever you deeply care about something, and are particularly suited for work that requires both devotion and a large measure of adaptability. The problem for you is that you may feel such a contrast between your inner ideals and your actual accomplishments that you may burden yourself with a sense of inadequacy. This can be true even when you are being as effective as others. You take for granted anything you do well and are the most modest of all the types, tending to underrate and understate yourself. It is important for you to find practical ways to express your ideals; otherwise you will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If you find no actions to express your ideal, you can become too sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and in yourself. Actually, you have much to give and need only to find the spot where you are needed." And maybe, just maybe, the test is amazingly accurate and that there're a lot more people like me in the world. That's a nice thought. I haven't been blogging since who-knows-when and surprisingly, I miss it. Sometimes we just need to pen down our thoughts and I haven't had time to do that. Anyway, I managed to hand in my proposal, now I have to keep at research until August. It's such a thrilling feeling knowing that you're gonna fall deeply in love with all the writers you proposed to research and compare; especially Tennessee Williams, but he's already got a special place in my heart x so the only thing I can do is love him and his work all the more. Sometimes I wish he weren't quite so popular with the academic crowd, so I can count him as an obscure writer and spend my time with him all to myself and dedicate my work to his work. Sheryl says I only like dead old man, but that's not true! I admire them because they've got talent worlds apart from this world, see Laurence Olivier, W.H. Auden, Marlon Brando, TW and somehow the trite ideals and superficial, attention-seeking actions of our time can never match up to their prowess and love for their work. I admire them simply because of their devotion and passion for writing/ acting and how good they were in their individual fields. Sure, Olivier was a snob and Brando was a hot dude with a diva-ish behaviour, yet what they produced was so good, it left a lasting impression on the world. And I suppose that's my dream. I aim to create something so fantastically wonderful that it forms a large impression on the people it comes into contact with. Not so much for the fame, but the knowledge that hey, my life hasn't been in vain; I've produced something of actual use to the world. And then I can die happy. But I suppose that's thinking too far ahead. The past week has led me to reflect on the pressures of society and how in the process of hurting others, you too can hurt yourself greatly. It's the good ol boomerang my mum used to talk about, how what you do to others will eventually return and others will treat you the same way you treated them before. I've come to realise that I'm a person who doesn't let go easily no matter how much I try to put an optimistic spin on it. Time does lessen the pain and knowledge that you've been tried and found wanting/ inadequate but ultimately, you still find yourself being far short of expectations. I've tried to be a good student. I do my homework, I pay attention, mostly because I know that doing my homework basically tests my ability to understand certain concepts, and that giving your attention is both a sign of respect, and helps you understand the subject. But I'm terribly quiet in class. I know. Teachers have commented on that, and I do speak up in econs, but the thing is, in all my other classes, I have this terrible sense of inadequacy cause when I do open my mouth, everything comes out jumbled up and incoherent and I just hate the impression I give others, as if I were dumb and ignorant which I know I'm not. You could say so what? So what if others judge you for your inability to speak properly? The problem with that is that I find myself too book-smart and not street-smart enough. I can write, I write to think, I write to make sense of the jumble of words that appear in my brain. I write without making use of every single word on the page, unlike others who say what they want and write what they want in a few words that are however, full of meaning. But still, writing is the main way in which I communicate my thoughts most clearly, most coherently. And that's the problem with me because the working world needs people who can talk, who can communicate with precision, and I find myself failing all that. So what am I to be when I grow up? Anyway, that's just me emo-ing and I rarely do that. Maybe a whinge or two; but that's that. So getting on with life, (apart from me feeling like an utter, complete failure at doing my job as a student) I managed to learn Brand New Shoes by She & Him. My sister derides it as being too twee but I just love the strumming pattern; it's so The Aspidistra Flies with that undulating soft, loud, slightly springy, dreamy rhythm. Down up up, Down up up. sigh. And I actually listened to (and liked) One Direction's One Thing. I don't know whether or not to feel guilty 'cause I essentially decided to boycott the radio after hearing one too many rubbish songs (see Mike Posner's Looks like sex. Oh wait don't even bother listening to it. It's indecent, degrading and irritatingly indulgent. Why must someone appeal to you based on physicality alone huh? What about the brains, the intellect or the heart of the woman you're trying to chase huh? I sure hope you never ever get close to her if all you want out of a relationship is looks and sex. Which reminds me of another song that was playing while we were out shopping one day. The dude basically repeats the line Tonight I wanna f*** you and ave, kim and I were all "dude, if that's all you're gonna say, no one's gonna want you." I hope his relationship fails miserably too. So back to One Thing. Ok it's a surprisingly catchy song and so ironic cause it goes "So get out, get out, get out of my head" and the song ABSOLUTELY REFUSES TO LEAVE MY HEAD. And it's chords have found it's way into my songbook of chords to play. I'm still trying to get the strumming pattern down pat but all the same, GAH. Alright I admit, it's a good song and best of all, it doesn't have that irritating American boyband whine. Maybe it's cause One Direction's British. Are they British? And they remind me of Westlife and N'Sync and The Backstreet Boys who I spent my primary school years listening to (but not loving) which is probably why I can stomach them. And alright, they have pretty darn good voices and the way they look don't hurt either. I'm trying to give up my prejudices here, so bear with me. And now, my return to indie. The Chieftains have paired up with various bands to cover traditional irish songs. Bands like The Low Anthem, Bon Iver, Carolina Chocolate Drops, The Civil Wars, The Decemberists etc in an album called Voices of Ages. I'm so excited <: Down in the Willow Garden with Bon Iver just gave me the chills (in a good way) all the way through. It was so creepy and ethereal (even though it is a murder ballad) and the pairing with The Low Anthem in School Days Over was equally chilling. Ok so the conclusion is that the Irish are morbid but they make good, heartbreaking music. Plus, I was really surprised that The Civil Wars and Taylor Swift collaborated on Safe and Sound for The Hunger Games. In fact I was kinda grossed out at their even joining Taylor Swift whom I don't even like cause all her songs are about love and regret but don't seem to have any emotion in them. So what if Daddy doesn't like Romeo? Why must Romeo save you huh? Why you cannot save yourself? So what if you cried all over your guitar? The only reason I don't cry all over my ukelele is because I don't want to spoil the varnish and wet the wood. Why must spoil your guitar just because some boy broke your heart huh? Why cannot cry elsewhere? Drop your teardrops elsewhere gurrl. I don't really care. Whew. Boy am I in a bad mood. But what I really meant to say is that Safe and Sound is awesome. It has just the right degree of emotion and the tone is so pure. I can just imagine the song playing while Katniss covers Roo in flowers. Yep fantastic song, the way it fits the movie so perfectly. And the way their voices meld so well together, I can't stop listening. And so I end off on a good note. Night. (: Wednesday, January 4, 2012 @ 11:52 PM |
comment (0) 1.  2. Is it too late to come up with a christmas wishlist now? 'Cause I just saw these:  You're damn right they're awesome heehee. These cookie cutters freakin' blew my mind 'cause they're cookie cutters that already have cut-outs at the base, so when you bake them cookies, the cookies also have cut-outs at the base, and voila! You get to perch the cookies on the edge of your cup :{> So clever! And they're called "Cup Adorning Cookie Cutters"! I love the name, it makes the cookies you're gonna cut out with the cookie cutters sound so pretty already! (sorry for overload of exclamation marks) And then I saw these:  Tiny Gingerbread houses that can perch on the edge of your cup! And these, you can actually make them from Not Martha's recipe and instructions for assembling the house. I'm dying to try to make these using chocolate chip cookies, but I'm not sure the houses will hold. Plus, NotMartha reads GeekDad too (just saying) and her Leprachaun Trap of a cake is just so cute, I wonder how they bear to eat it. Anyway, I think the thing that's been bugging me the most, is this  SUPER EPIC RAINBOW CAKE from Whisk Kid (no, she's not a kid) That's crying to be made. Unfortunately, the amount of colouring and butter is putting me off the cake. So, *takes a deep breath* DOES ANYBUDDY WANT TO HAVE A BAKING PARTY AT THEIR HOUSE? I just want to make the cake, and eat it (a slice of it lah), I promise I'll help to wash up and bake, I just need to see how epic it turns out. PLEASE? kthxbye. Ok, now that's out of the way, ummm well you see, when I bake, I actually cut down the amount of sugar and maybe even butter, as called for in the recipe. So things are pretty agar-agar around, what I absolutely can't stand, are recipes that call for shortening or food colouring. I've been brought up to believe that food colouring is supposed to lead to a whole pantheon of great diseases that will plague me later on in life, cue heart disease, cancer, coloured tongues, the whole she-bang. So I steadfastly refuse to cook anything I think will kill me, eventually, or kill the rest of my family for that matter. BUT, if you're willing to take a chance on the food colouring, (read: WHAT THE SHIT. FOOD COLOURING WILL NOT KILL YOU) and not freak out like I will, or my mum (the rest of my family don't really care, and my dad's not supposed to eat sweet things anyway) LET'S HAVE A BAKING PARTY AT YOUR HOUSE! WHOOTS :D So, changing the topic now, MY ELDEST SISTER SAYS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO COME HOME. Not that it's absolutely devastating or whatever, since I can imagine why anyone who's currently travelling around Europe and spent Christmas in Vatican City wouldn't want to come back to Singapore. BUT my family's been clearing up the place so that it won't look the same way it did when she left, and to welcome her (when she returns) and the new year. And if she stays on (not that she has a choice to stay on haha) then all my cleaning up would have been IN VAIN. And then I'd be like zis ones    Mmm yeah. But mainly because I'm planning to make Irish Cream Cupcakes to use up the ye-old-bottle-of-bailey's that's been sitting in the fridge for a pretty long time 'cause she's bringing back some more drink to plonk in the space Old-Bailey's is taking up, and then some more. And if I found I rushed to make those cupcakes in vain, then I'll be like Jake (see above adventure time pictures) all over again. I love Adventure Time :3 They have all the expressions you could ever want in life. Including different variations of anger and rage. *Side note, TODAY GAVE ME AN INVIGORATING ESTROGEN RUSH. Did you get one too? (: Omg it sounds so weird hahaha. New Year's Resolution No. 1
Sunday, January 1, 2012 @ 3:14 PM |
comment (0) So I guess you're not supposed to make New Year Resolutions after the new year, but ehh, I guess I just don't roll the other way (making resolutions before the new year). Sometimes I wished I'd never heard What Are You Doing New Year's Eve (as sung by Zooey Deschanel & JGL, which I blogged earlier about) because I can't stop singing it and playing it, I made myself learn it yesterday so I could play it before the new year, but now it's the new year and I still can't stop playing it. ): it's so jazzy ahhh I love it. Anyway, to get on with it, I've made a New Year Resolution! Sure it's temporary, until I get tired of it, but it's a start. *drumrolllllll* I've decided to learn how to play A SONG ABOUT ACNE by Charlie McDowell Mainly because Christmas, Dong, and New Year Celebrations have left me stuffed, and provided ample opportunity for pimples to sprout. So yeah, how apt. What are you doing new year's eve? (zooey deschanel and joseph gordon levitt)
Saturday, December 31, 2011 @ 3:52 PM |
comment (0) Ho my goodness, this is so freakin' good, I mean I've known that Zooey Deschanel had an ahmazing voice but dueting with JGL just makes her seem that much better. And his cheeky little boy grin while strumming... *sigh* And if you want to hear the original version in Ella Fitzgerald's slow, velvety voice, click here! And The Carpenter's sweeter version that the zooey and JGL version is closer to, and that I prefer, click here! I can't wait to play it on the uke! I can't believe the chords are already up on ukehunt, but yay all the same (:  Anyway, since it's officially been New Year's Eve for the past 16 hours and 30minutes, I figured I'd do me some reflectin' but I don't really feel like going all serious about it and I've never made New Year resolutions 'cause they take up too much time haha. So the first part of this reflection process will be on my life, and the next part will be on Alex Day 'cause he looked so happy when he mimed toasted bread jumping out of the toaster. Yeahh, I appreciate happy mimes hahaha THE REFLECTION PROCESS (Part One) 1. Entering JC has made my life better and worse. Um, well in the first half of the year, I was pretty miserable 'cause people were so damn bitchy, all they talked about during recess was how they didn't like somebody, and why. And I was all woah *both hands up, police arresting style* count me out of this, it's barely been a few weeks and now you're judging her/him? Please, get a life. I wished that they would talk about themselves instead of other people 'cause surely, they were more interesting than the person they were dissing. Oh wait, I forgot, you don't have lives. *licks finger and burns finger on screen* tssss Happily, I got over it or maybe they stopped bitching so much, but life seemed to settle down after PW. Sure, my class had people who were strange in their own way, but hanging out with my PW group sure was fun, we didn't bitch, ok we hardly bitched, we talked about each others lives including a really intense session of truth or dare and shoot, shag, marry during one of the first few pw meetings outside school. It was fun and retarded. I loved it. And I guess it was also because I learned to mind my own business. What I learnt was that people won't change if they don't want to, so it's not much use trying. Plus, you've got your own life to lead, so yeah just ignore the bitchiness, concentrate on the better side of them, and you're all set to lead a normal, happy life. So that's a good thing right? A junior college, is preparation for the real world (I'm assuming), I've met the craziest, whackiest, scariest and loveliest people (yes all dem superlatives are required) ever. It's like a tiny microcosm where you meet people who are mostly larger-than-life, and totally unlike the awesome people you mostly hung out with in IJ. So yeah, I can't imagine anything worse in Singapore, except maybe jail and hospitals. I think I'm prepared for anything. 2. 2011 was a year of books and good music. After downloading a reader app on my phone, it's safe to say that I've read more than 30 books this year (: I'm so pleased with myself and I've found new favourites that I've actually gone back to read more than once i.e. George MacDonald's The Princess and the Goblin, I loved how dark it was for a children's book but still so magical. So I picked up the ukelele last year, and while I haven't been playing consistently, the website where I get my chords from puts up chords from some indie songs the owner likes, so I've been able to play Skinny Love, You and I, Five Years Time etc etc, songs that I actually enjoy. I wanted to be able to play all of Stars' songs, but I've only done Calendar Girl 'cause I get my chords from ultimate guitar and they're darn hard to play on the uke. But I am satisfied, with my progress and it's a great way to destress or to while my time away. So that's one thing I did right last year! And I've managed to find some really good music on the internet :{> so yeah I'm real chuffed, my playlists on my phone are now grouped according to feeling, so I've got atmospheric, rock & rollin' and sleep among others. Sweeet. And that's the end of part one of my reflection process, I could mention shooting and how my seniors from both IJ and CJ always seem to be so awesome, I've had good luck with seniors; or I could mention how much I enjoyed camp in port dickson, or how ell is disgustingly appealing to me, but eventually, 2011 has been a year of memories, good, sweet, laughing ones and bad ones that have scarred and inflicted trauma on me (I exaggerate). HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE EVERYONE! THE REFLECTION PROCESS (Part Two) Uhuh, so before the meeting to discuss next year's shooting, sheryl whipped out her com and started playing alex reading twilight. He was so freakin' funny that I went home and watched all 16 videos late into the wee hours of the morning. Never before has someone held my attention for such a long time. So I trust that my life has been enriched as a result of watching this surprisingly filthy, funny dude named Alex Day. What I learnt from Alex Day: 1. Never go to an English Barber. Duuude, he went to the hairdresser's and got his ear cut at the same time his hair was cut! Pssh, who does that? I mean unless you were going to what's his name? Ah yes, Sweeney Todd, (KILLER) Barber of Fleet Street, to get your hair cut, you're not supposed to be injured wtf. Getting injured in the course of getting my hair cut has been what I feared most as a kid; didn't help that I used to tell the hairdresser to cut my hair all the way to my ears. *shudders* what the freak man. 2. What the meme below suggests:  Oh-so-creepy hahaha 3. I need to learn how to whistle so I can catch myself whistling hahaha  http://graciebug.tumblr.com/post/3191800104/how-do-you-catch-yourself-whistling-oh-alex 4. Bella has a serious heart condition She stops breathing once, and her heart literally stops, once.  NO WONDER SHE'S SO MOODY! 5. Oh shit, his epic face :3  "Now, this is a normal person glare. The only way I could imagine a bizarre glare would be this." OK gotta go, New Year's Eve at my Grandpa's always gives me invigorating estrogen rushes hahaha |
